Totally
Egregious,
Serially
Lousy
Assembly.

So the lithium market is depressed? How ironic.

Dammit, you chucklefuck, your intentions were perfectly clear. You wanted to hurt and embarrass a total stranger because some stray gross impulse darted across your lizard brain and being a white male, you never even thought to resist or question it. You honestly expected her to find that funny or at least “laugh it…

I would think shaking a person with a medical emergency would be the last thing you would want to do.

So much for being grounded to the ground

Dude...the milks are all different colors. Those colors may differ by store, but still. In my jurisdiction, wrong milk is Negligent Homogenicide.

Kotaku readers will tell you that anything with “E” and “A” involved is typically bad for you.

This should have been posted on the new sub-site - Vroomcrash-opnik. All the G/O Media sites will now be broken down into tightly focused sub-sites so no one has to think about what content will be posted there. Jalopnik will be broken down into:
1. Tireopnik - Where the rubber meets the road

Thoughts and prayers in your time of recovery.

Guessing you posted this because you have no reading comprehension, since ‘women don’t have to abide the contracts they sign’ is not a thing stated in or implied by the article. 

Let us know when you recover from your stroke. 

He prefers the term "Sturmabteilung."

I said this in the other article about the Jets clusterfuck, but this whole thing is basically Belichick daring Adam Gase to change literally anything about his game plan, and Adam Gase just refusing to, because he had something he wanted to accomplish in this game and he was going to do it regardless of if it was…

More people got it than took it seriously, so, yeah.

Jokes, my dude. Jokes.

Bonus real story is the refs not calling roughing the passer.

I’d like to start a petition.. if the Dolphins go 0-16 then we no longer have to witness the 1972 Dolphins celebrate when the last undefeated team losses... watching them celebrate is insufferable.  

This being high school, his friends would have told me that it doesn’t count if the first time he scored was in the other end.

When pressed for solutions on how he’s going to fix his kicker problems, Arians responded brusquely, “We’re not going to yell and scream at him. We are going to support Matt and gently focus on converting extra points and field goals with him this week in practice. It’s Gay Conversion Therapy all next week.” *mic cuts…