Stifled desk laughter, Level 10.

I like to live life on the edge. I’m a thrillseeker. I fight white tigers. I save bread. But I don’t produce monogrammed thermoses, that’s just too dangerous for me.

You're living a lie. The CDC is in the pocket of Big Pharma.

Some friends and I went because we wanted to see it for ourselves. We couldn't believe it was going to happen. Then we were there. And then I got selected to be one of her fetus examples.

Je suis Nutella.

True dat. My ex-husband, a preacher, worked for one of those lying-ass fake pregnancy centers. They had a whole handbook (a Pearson guide, which you can look up online if you like) detailing how to emotionally harass and manipulate women into "choosing" to keep the pregnancy. The second they hit the legal time limit…

There are ways.

"I should have manned up and I should have fought for you," Blandford says. "And I didn't. I didn't. I am so grateful that you are in Heaven with Jesus, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, and that you got to see him before I did. And I know you're going to extend me grace, but I just—it would've been so cool to…

The ultimate Taylor Swift fan took over Tumblr with her spot-on recreations of the Polaroids from 1989 and got an overjoyed response from Swift herself

Dude! Problematic stereotype is problematic, dude.

Shhhh! Don't tell anyone, but I am entirely with you on the vinegar. Such delicious sogginess.

The Great British Chip Butty should be doused in do much Sarsons Malt Vinegar, that the bottom bun is slightly soggy. JUDGE AWAY MY FRIEND. JUDGE. AWAY.

I've had that. I thought my teeth were going to pull themselves out of my gums and secede, they hurt so bad after two bites.

I've been creeping kinja forever, and I finally joined to make this comment:

THIS IS AN ABOMINATION.

It's true. You have to hold the stage without handstands or back flips (usually while rigging gets changed out or sometimes in case of an accident or other snag in the show) and there are so so many terrible clowns out there and of course the perception put out there by birthday party clowns, Steven King and John…

seriously though, clowning is probably one of the most difficult circus disciplines because it is so very easy to be very bad at it. Birthday party and Shriner clowns are an abomination to this world.

^^^Someone obviously unfamiliar with the complete and utter uselessness of a Swiss Army Knife. Speaking as a person with said experience, it's a damn good thing that Switzerland is militarily neutral, elsewise they'd have been slaughtered in less time than it takes to say, "fuck, that's the nail file. Why does this…