His book is fascinating! I'm about to read it a second time.

That penguin dance is just like the one I did in my third grade dance recital, where I played a penguin (studio wide recital theme: Under the Sea). Now if only he had that black and white satin costume...

What's sad is that Goodwill has already been doing this for years.

Why are we focusing on the "dainty jewelry" and not that painful-looking stitch job??

ChocolateCakeAndBeerForBreakfast: You are a fantastic human being. And I like your breakfast choices.

I have to imagine that leaving her kids to go to law school was not an easy decision - nor was having a career. There are things you miss out on as a parent when you do that, but in the end you have to decide what is going to be best for yourself and your kids. Whether it means being a stay at home mom or a bad ass…

When did your favorite team start giving away those cheerleader calendars for free?

And . . . ? Are we supposed to shit on his picture when he was 14-15?

This article is skirting the line that Jez draws whenever anyone expects feminism out of them...

If you see a sperm, shoot it.

I have to take away points for missing the most obvious oompa loompa, Tom Hanks. I cringed.

Agreed. That was hilarious.

I was hoping it was going to be more like Clue. "Done in the Grantham bathing room by O'Brien with a bar of soap".

Sandra Bullock's up for another Oscar... But she's also a single mom with no romantic prospects who'll turn 50 in July. So why is she flashing that mile-wide smile so much these days?

Mateo wins the internet.

For reals, having opinions about things public figures say and do is totally slutty. You guys are all so gross, and your vaginas are probably all worn out from all that thinking about stuff.

So am I studding it up over him, since I'm a dude who agrees with him and isn't a hateful little dick like you?

Ha, I called my bank to see if I could convert my $7K into a more manageable denomination. To be fair, it was pretty short notice, but they told me that they didn't even keep $5K of cash on hand, never mind $7K. * I'm pretty sure Le Biebs would have to call ahead to get $75K in ones, unless he's got a super-special…

$75K in singles? I once had to obtain $7K in cash for work, and our cashier office gave it to me mostly in $20s. I had planned to carry it in one of those hidden waist belts, but stacked together it was nearly 6 inches high. I had to divide it into smaller stacks, cram it all into a manila envelope, and clutch my…

I CAN NOT fucking wait to vote Davis for Governor of Texas.