im using the excuse “its part of my personality” for everything from now on

OverlySexualizedVelociTumbler.

I’LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT

Dangerstyle.

This isn’t my story but my roommate’s. It’s too good not to share though. This would have been junior year of high school I believe in one of our other friend’s basements.

If I had a nickel for every time cum came out my nose....

I am so sorry but when you said “curtains” I immediately thought you were referring to your then gf’s labia. Definitely made my first read-through of this story a bit more rattling.

WHAT IS BEARD BURN AND HOW DO I OBTAIN ONE

oh god oh god oh god

Your mother-in-law is a legend.
Also, is it just me, that I’d much rather someone think I’m having shower sex with my husband than think he’s pooping a foot away from me while I’m in the shower?

Your MIL sounds kind of awesome.

This story made me so anxious for so many reasons.

My apologies in advance for the long backstory, but it is necessary to fully understand the horrible-ness of the situation. I live in a tiny apartment in New York with my wife and son, which, ever since our son has gotten the ability to walk and talk and whatnot already made sex a fairly covert affair (the window of…

So, I was getting frisky with this guy. We’re ripping each other’s clothes off, making out like it’s our job, getting comfy on the bed. There are hands everywhere, fingers everywhere, he pulls back for a second and realizes that our crotchal areas are covered in blood. Well, that’ll kill the mood right quick. He asks…

Rugburn on my forehead.

My wife was feeling horny once while we were on a long driving trip. I believe we were going through Nebraska at the time. She was in the passenger seat, but unbuckled herself and slid over to my lap. (Yes in hindsight this wasn’t a good idea). Youth and stupidity, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, she was trying to be sexy…

That sounds like a good reason to miss a feminist meeting.

Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

Torn foreskin... that wasn’t pretty but we kept our calm there was blood everywhere. and I had texted my feminist collective earlier stating that I would be arriving late to our meeting because I was hum... entering the bone zone. Fair to say that I didn’t make it to the meeting and my message to warn them was like…