Stolen from reddit:
Only one has ever managed to beat her

Sorry if this comes off as being angry.

Hi all.

Something tells me 9 out of 10 women in that audience could give him a beat down like none he's ever been in.

I think the moral of the story is that hetero men think that LITERALLY EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING WANTS THEIR DICK.

cis hetero men are afraid of gay men because they believe gay men will treat them the way they treat women. cis hetero men are afraid of gay men because they believe gay men will treat them the way they treat women. cis hetero men are afraid of gay men because they believe gay men will treat them the way they treat…

_{Here you go. An excited cat. Lose yourself in his adorably excited feet.}

Yep.

Meh... fuck Jimmy Kimmel. Not for this, specifically... just because he’s boring and unfunny.

This whole thing...

I never had one, but now my kids have a bunch and I hate them. With a passion. If you have kids, don’t ever give in on this. I’d take a golf club to them if everyone wouldn’t immediately know who the culprit was.

This is true but why refuse if you’ve got nothing to hide? And she was coming back from a Waka Flacka concert.... And she’s the type of person to get a barbie jeep and ride it around. I just don’t know, man.

Well, just look at you, sugar.

A Texas State University student got a DUI...

There’s a Tara in every college class. She never shuts up about how crazy she is.

THIS IS WHY IM TERRIFIED TO GET A TATTOO

I’m guessing Colin Farrell really is okay with being single, because that guy could get laaaaaaaaaaaaaaid. Seriously, I’ve heard first-hand accounts from two different people, and he got full, enthusiastic thumbs-up from both women. Man ain’t afraid of the kitty-cat.

ANTHROPOMORPHIC FELT PUPPETS CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS

To me, the funniest part was going on Bachelor in Paradise to “find a date to my sister’s wedding.” The world needs more of that kind of problem-solving creativity.