I read once that it doesn’t matter what he looks like, because he sounds like chocolate fucked a saxophone, and I have to agree.

This was the main reason why I was so disappointed when Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter split up. They were my proof that being antisocial/loving your own space could work in the long run (provided you could both afford to buy/rent 2 places instead of 1).

I've started to worry about this. I've lived alone for 7 years and now I really can't imagine giving it up. The one time I lived with a bf we agreed that the spare bedroom would be my den, and that was when I was moving straight from my parents' house - I have no idea how I'd adjust now I've had a whole house to…

I've lived alone for all of my 20s (now 27) and I think it's had the opposite effect on my cooking skills. Maybe at the weekend I'll try something new/actually cook a meal, but midweek I pretty much just eat whatever goes with a couple of slices of bread. Admittedly I work weird hours so I don't have set meal times,…

Yeah my first thought on reading that one was “you were not on a date, my friend.” Must have been awful though.

If it’s a funny sex story it’s fine. I think my sister would be annoyed if I didn’t tell her just how the fuck John Mayer ended up wanking over my back.

Don’t forget all that rape money we make from false accusations!

I really want this to not be an April Fools, because everything about this delights me. Fucking T-Pain

If my understanding of American politics is correct (it probably isn't) surely the Republicans should like sex ed? I thought they were the ones who hated interference and handholding, and wants it's citizens to succeed through their own ambition, initiative and drive. When it comes to this issue, surely the answer is…

My stepbrother's wedding was vintage tea party themed, and the reception was outside on some posh grounds with lawn games. The hung giant picture frames from some trees at different heights and had fancy dress stuff where you could get your picture taken. Haters gon' hate - that shit was magical.

Not available in my country :( Can someone tell me what happens? This happens to me a lot at work so any suggestions for rebuttals are always welcome.

That's hilarious! Does that sort of thing happen a lot? If you've got any reading recommendations I'd love to hear them.

Woo hoo! I love the idea of donating an umbilical chord. Not sure if this site offers any help for US readers, but the Anthony Nolan foundation can help with donations in the UK. Also you can donate/help without having to get up the duff. :)

A couple of years ago I was living in a second floor flat with my cat. I had the window open and the cat would usually chill out by the open window.

Controversial opinion: This show was shit even with Rivers on it, and it's a shame that she was lowered to doing that kind of crap. I didn't watch every episode religiously, but the jokes were always such low hanging fruit that I really expected more of her, and it didn't help that Kelly & co. were hooting at every…

Full disclosure: I know sod all about computers.

Tbh the only reason I clicked on this article was because that was the kind of story I was expecting.

The stereotype for rejected women I think is the Bridget Jones model - wine, ice cream, sloppily singing along to "All by myself". I think most women (including myself) know that when you've been rejected, you retreat into your hole, stop showering and feel sorry for yourself for a bit and then resolve to treat…

This is so true! And I remember from my teen years that the Nice Guys would only use this as justification for their continued harassment. "She's all bent out of shape because she's in love with whatshisface, she just doesn't realise there's a perfectly good Nice Guy (ME) sat right outside her window every night!"

I've seen this happen! Two people I know - he was besotted and was constantly asking her out, she kept saying no. At one point she straight up told him she didn't fancy him and she just saw him as a friend. He kept on asking and asking, and eventually they were dating. She was adamant she wanted to date for at least a…