I’m mostly excited for .. dresses with sleeves (more like the striped one, less like the pink one)! But, will they also have pockets?

Hah! I had forgotten they dropped Ivanka’s line. That makes this better.

What about the ‘cunts’? Because I feel the dad would be right at home.

I got to that sentence and stopped cold. What the hell, Jane? Why would you ever put that in there? Someone is having some relatively minor new in-law drama, and you suggest she married the wrong person? That’s.....I can’t call that a jump, it’s so far beyond.

Also, maybe you married the wrong person? When that happens we often look for signs of trouble anywhere we can find it. Think about it.

I think Charmin Sandiego is a better name than The Mad Pooper.

I’m interviewing him later today and will find out.

For many people being deported IS a death sentence.

How in the world is Kendal Jenner, a 21-year-old model, responsible for the ad Pepsi, a multinational corporation, put her in? Did she have creative input I’m not aware of?

“Shook” and “Like, wow!” in 1968?!? Franklin was 40 years ahead of his time!

HELL to the FUCK no. Crawl spaces are not for anybody who fucks living humans. You are begging to be a smiling photo on a Have You Seen Me poster with this shit.

Admission: I like it when people appropriate my culture. It feels like acceptance. Is that odd?

KITTIES

I got detained day before at LAX - me and Shahrukh Khan are BFFS via racial profiling I WILL BROOK NO NAYSAYERS

I’m also curious how she failed to complete the program, given that some of this usually involves paying fees.

I hate to break it to you guys but your airports are the absolute worst too!

I once heard somebody say that pregnancy is a hope, not a promise.

Guess he meant the kind of little lost boy capable of repeatedly overpowering and injuring a grown woman. You know, that kind!

Entourage = cockblockers