Ass leaks are terrible.

Nissan was the first thing I thought of when I read this, glad I'm not the only one. When I was shopping for a car, I would always go the that stupid site before remembering the right URL.

Those are terrible descriptors. Adjectives are way better for this.

To be fair, he does have some nouns like moron that he can work with, but adjectives really just open up your world when it comes to describing stupidity.

I'm quite interested what nouns he would use to describe them. Would you say they're table? Are those boaters very ball? Perhaps he thinks they're asteroid.

I thought the 24-hour restriction had to do with all the magical server-side processing power that would be utilized in games. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

If you run the train backwards, it tells you to smoke weed and worship Satan's satin.

Even without the racist aspect, unless they name their kid Penisfuck McDickshit, people really need to get over criticizing the naming decisions of other people.

Your walls look really similar to mine. Are you in my house?

But does it electrocute you if you try to record in portrait?

I wanna kiss you on the mouth.

Abandon party, abandon party! If anyone is reading anything from the internet at your party, you're doing it wrong!

You should really stop betting on me. Didn't you learn your lesson the first time?

Also, I really hope you're not actually at a party where everyone is reading the comments on a Gizmodo thread. That would be the worst party ever.

You can't put that kind of pressure on me! I'm only two people!

I'll be there with bells on!

Shit, my bad. I meant Zynga is a company I definitely work for. The first letters are so close in the alphabet that I get confused sometimes.

That was a terrible presentation, Captain Internet Attacks! The main problem is that you didn't bring me any numbers or supporting figures to back up your claim about it being useless for driving sales. You would never make it here at Adobe, a company I definitely work for.

Congratulations! You win the internet circle-jerk! Adobe's marketing department still doesn't care whether or not you, Captain Internet, think they should be advertising or not.

He loves that tire so much!