And yet they advertise anyway. You should probably go tell Adobe how terribly they're running their company. I bet they're super interested in your opinion.

I wonder if it's a stolen phone? Or maybe a third-party developer had access to the software or something. Intriguing.

I love the throwaway jokes at the end of their videos. Santa bless The Onion.

If his kid ever makes friends with someone named Ferris Bueller, he should probably nip that right in the bud. That sure is a nice big window he's got behind it there.

Take me with you? Finnish is such an absurdly beautiful language.

Seriously. Ye gods, a whole stamp. What a fucking inconvenience.

There was literally a movement to try to purchase the rights from Fox and revive that show in the last two years. There's no way all of those people saw the series when it first aired.

Both.

EULALIAAAAAAA!!!

If you'll excuse me, I need to find out how many books he's written since I read the last one and devour them.

Those people either got fucked or are lying. I've had two cars with proximity access keys and neither of them would work unless you were within a foot or two of the door. They can even tell whether the key is inside the car or not and will prevent you from locking the doors if your key is in the car. At least the…

I feel like you have to be a coffee snob to call your coffee maker (single-serving or not) by its brand name, but I'm probably just projecting because I had a roommate who was a coffee snob and absolutely relished telling people he had a Keurig.

Yeah, I'm really confused. This feels like it's trying too hard to come off as sincere to really work as satire. Sincerity is good, but this just feels weird. I want it to be satire and I think the author does too, but it's just... not, somehow.

Hopefully this is what they have in mind.
http://xkcd.com/1207

Math is hard. It's too bad no one has invented something that would have allowed you to do it with little effort.

I can't "choose to live [my] life in metric" because I can't force companies to display things in metric. Being annoyed that you have to convert from imperial to metric is literally the point of the petition. Talk about missing the point.

Same with an empty stomach. Eat a sandwich or something, just in case. I know I'm grumpy as shit if I haven't eaten and I may not even realize that I'm hungry depending on what I'm doing.

Well now I know what I'm doing if I'm ever in charge of the Twitter feed for a large company.

Fuck that twice. No chance in hell am I going to pay for the privilege of playing my game on my friend's console. Unless they add something like recovering your gamertag to their console to be able to play it while you're there or something.

I'm pretty sure that iceberg has been waiting for round 2.

That's why you always leave a note.