Womb to mouth, biscuit to biscuit.

I hate the new bottom corner score box. Hate it.

If Jack helped you off the horse, would you help Jack off the horse?

The message from the NCAA about concussions:

I hope you get cancer.

I think he was just doing the cha cha slide.

He even left his pads on the ground. Guess he wanted them be somewhere familiar.

I'm sure Kobe was just happy that someone was excited to give him an assist.

God. I was hoping the Panther fan would've turned around and said this.

I see Serene Branson has been put on ticker duty.

Exactly. +1

As a former resident of College Station, there is certainly no shortage of Buddy Garrity's that attend anything even remotely related to Aggie Football.

Really? Not one Clausen pickles reference? Always "refrigerated"? A number of puns and dick references wasted.

"A large percentage of conservatives make me embarrassed to be a life-long member of the Republican party. We've turned from the party of conservationism and diplomacy, to a party of mouth breathers who scorn education, throw religion in everyone's faces, and generally act like douchebags." You said it brother.

Trolly McTrollerson.

I love your pieces and look forward to reading your book. You really have a great way with humanizing the life of a convict without making excuses for them or yourself. But you also have a great sense of explaining a culture as an anthropologist and giving context for its idiosyncrasies and social mores. Best of luck…

Santa has always tried to tell others how to behave. Judgmental dick.

Lindsey Lohan was so adorable when she was younger.

Man, the Johova's Witnesses are really getting serious about spreading the good news.