Still not the worst beating suffered by a Ventura on the mound.

Nah. Throw his ass in jail. He’s not mentally ill, he’s just a young, dumb, entitled asshole who won’t deal with his drinking issues. He had his shot to deal with it, instead he abused a woman. Now it’s time he is told what to do for a while.

Typical millennial. All meme meme meme.

♫ HGH you work so gooooood ♫

Thank God they use Oxford commas.

I like how they are no longer even pretending that “redskins” isn’t offensive and are now going down the “everyone else does it!” route. Good luck with that!

How did Washington’s lawyers gain access to my browser history?

I guess Igby decided it was someone else’s turn to go down.

The bad news is this kid can no longer expect to get a basketball scholarship from Duke. The good news is he just got an offer to play lacrosse there.

No. He is calling out the bullshit people who pretend to be runners for the benefit of some social grace or mental image of themselves. Like people who “support the troops” or wear pink.

Sure you would. If someone asked you if you played ball, you’d probably say you compete in a rec league.

This is the twitter equivalent of going for a foul ball that at least three other people are going for.

It’s not like they’re killing themselves in the parking lot.

Remind me again when iOS got default encryption for all devices, and when Android is getting it?

Holy fuck this font sucks.

So now that you know the cold facts, do the cool thing and stay on the right side of the law. Use Popsicle^®, Creamsicle^®, Fudgsicle® and Yosicle® only to identify our products, use these trademarks correctly, and don’t use them for any other purpose without our permission. We appreciate your cooperation.

There’s a future for you writing Nationwide commercials for the Super Bowl.

I’ve always had a fantasy where they bring out the family and kids, and when they say turn around or Let’s welcome home Corporal Marine Todd, the family turns around overjoyed and then they wheel out a casket with the flag draped over it.

Yeah, how does he not go for the unassisted triple play? It was right there for him.