I think I'm in love with you. We should run away together.

Your hat is an indefensible position.

What an asshat. I want my $4. (Better off Dead reference with inflation).

Just saying, it's not a scientific response. Every person is different. Genetically speaking. And knee jerk or not, it happened. You could've easily died as well taking off a doctor prescribed defibrillator.

Jim Fixx died, while running, of a heart attack. Maybe you're wrong. And just lucky, genetically speaking.

Cosby agrees.

To be fair, she is 315 years old in dog years. The fan base that loves her the most letting them know its time for dinner.

So......bet the under?

I assume the player was from Russia and the umpire was from the Ukraine.

"No me duele!" Spanish for, "bitch ripped my ear off, I don't care, let me beat this whore.". Or, "I'm not hurt.", if you follow Rosetta Stone.

This is #2 so far this season. #1 is still, "Famine her right in the potato".

Love the handle, sir. Where are you located?

When are you morons going to realize this is Deadspin. Not (insert family friendly sports website for jerkoffs like you). There have literally been no less than 5 posts about "Fuck her right in the Pussy.". And you want to know why they haven't posted the results of a marathon? Really strong work.

Mark Dantonio looks like Belichick.

Their were two snakes hiding in that room. The guy is hung like a small pony apparently.

I would have thought Peyton would have more than 40 TD's from his side of the 50. I get that it is obviously harder and it relies more on the receiver than QB, I am wondering the stats on who is the all-time leader of TD passes from their side of the 50 yard line.

I feel as though Cincinatti Chili was created on dare.

If this had been a real emergency, Joe Buck would have broken in with self-righteous indignation.

I thought the Goodellbot was broken?

I thought only Hockey had periods?