This can't be right. Only people whose parents didn't beat them with sticks growing up turn to drugs.

I demand payment for this story. If payment can't be arranged, then I demand a free pizza for this story. If a free pizza can't be arranged, then I demand a day-old sandwich for this story.

I apologize. Can we perhaps agree on a word count for my posts that would work for both of us in the future? I'm willing to try and edit down to Two-hundred-thirty-go-fuck-yourself words wherever possible.

Well duh, he doesn't know anything about the negotiations for his contract extension. You'll have to ask his dad.

That was a line from a movie.

I would read a "Samer's Dad's Hot Sports Takes" series

Why Your Contributor Sucks: Chris Fucking Kluwe

Nah, "fucktard" is wack.

Daniel Snyder wants a new stadium? I bet he wants someone else to pay for it. Say, that reminds me of a joke....

Shouldn't those bags read, "Lose Dixie"?

In one final tribute to late Mariners owner Hiroshi Yamauchi, Zduriencik placed the trade in, took it out, placed it in again, took it out, blew on it, and placed in again.

I am actual retired CEO from an S&P 500 company. Had > 10 years in the job.

"I'm more concerned about his paternity."

Melo: [Resigns with Knicks]

Patrick Ewing: [Comes out of retirement, signs with Knicks, hopes to finally win championship]

When is somebody of stature gonna call out this entire philosophy as being full of shit?

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

The idea that we are separate from the Universe is an illusion. We are a part of the void; an inseparable, atomic component of the whole. We are all one, and all are one with God. Life is simply a unique experience, equivalent to death in scope and meaning. If we could all, brothers and sisters, simply join hands…

"Do you feel you belong?"

What the hell does it mean to "hate most lawsuits?" If you want a third party liability carrier to pay your claim for an injury that you suffered because of someone else instead of, you know, not having any money to pay medical bills and make up for your lost wages, you often need to sue the party that was…

"I earn it, fuck the heck."