Ah, notice the "or". Sorry.

Of course I get that. In fact, lifelong drug use is something I'd strongly discourage. But see, it's this idea that you have to feel "self-destructive", as you say, to want to use drugs that irks me. I didn't take drugs because I didn't want to live or hated my life, and for most of my peers it was the same.

Oh, I very rarely use cocaine anymore. I used to do it a lot in my youth and early adulthood, but it gave me some seriously fucked up circulation and blood pressure issues by the time I reached my mid-20s as well as making me into a short-tempered asshole so I stopped using.

Stop it. Religious people are not a persecuted minority, you don't get to complain. Plus, most people's problem with religion is not that some religious folk like to abuse kids or rape women.

It's a matter of taste, and I mean that in earnest. There are different ways to treat yourself, and one person might like to buy some good sweets, another person might rather buy a dime bag.

Word. Plus, Hollywood misogyny pales in comparison to the shit porn shows.

It really is overpriced for what is essentially a fibreglass kit-car. Plus the fact that the top speed is limited to 90 miles an hour makes me think it might have some serious body stiffness/handling issues - the info leaves out the one important bit of telling you what kind of chassis it has.

Why hadn over the keys? Why not just let the universe die in peace, which he should have done a long time ago anyway? Most of the Rincewind books and the early novels about the city watch are great, as are the ones focusing on Death and his little family. But you can't deny that the series took a nosedive in quality…

And you love it. We get it. You know, I'm not even opposed to porn in general, but why can't pro-pron folks admit that there's some really sick stuff being produced by the big studios? Yeah, everybody's consenting, but that doesn't mean that many scenes aren't fucking ugly. You just cannot deny that many scenes are…

Just read my replies to the other people who didn't get the joke. I mean, how do you take this seriously? Yes, there are people who would say this with a straight face, but on Jalopnik?

"Let's be rail-pals" - the last dude who used that line on me got it right in the kisser.

Can't fault you, really. Sarcasm only really works face-to-face, and people are very likely saying more outrageous stuff in earnest on the internet right now.

Ah man. you got so close to getting the joke. You practically spelled it out, yet you didn't see it.

It doesn't, and that's more or less the joke *sigh*. Read my replies to the other guy who didn't get it.

The thing about jokes that I never remember is "never explain" :(

How is that better? The "Obama's America" is a quote from right-wing idiots, which is kind of the joke. I mean, Bradley Cooper is rich and white, so you know, he's not one of the minorities who "want stuff" according to the blowhards at FOX.

Joking, not trolling. Jeez, originally I was gonna go with just the first sentence, but I figured people would get all outraged, so I added the other bit to make it more clear...

Welcome to Obama's America, where people want things. Things like trackside shuttles.

Cue MRAs and other assorted idiots crying over feminism invading the last bastion of innocence or some such nonsense. In fact, I'd bet money on the phrases "last bastion of innocence" and "is nothing sacred?" being used.

Re: Bradley Cooper - I will never understand what drives people to go teetotal. Well, except alcoholism/drug addiction, I suppose. I really cannot imagine how I'd feel/behave if I didn't have my daily dose of whisky after work.