*Closes laptop thoughtfully, wipes away a tear, considers life for a moment, reopens laptop, types away furiously*

“and if she was so upset that he won, why did she work for him? I don’t understand that part.”

This is not true (read the article) - he played very well for Charlotte (enough to earn a big contract from the Nets) and Atlanta. And the Raptors thought enough of him to bring him onboard a contender. But it seems he thought he should get either to start for a bad team or be a rotation piece for a contender, and I…

Unbelievably, I had to correct this from “100% TRUMP supporter” to “110% TRUMP supporter.” 

Wow, he’s really lucky, because, while they take drug offenses super-seriously in New Hampshire, they recently repealed the death penalty. Not only that, but hanging was still on the books in NH as one of the possible means of execution, until earlier this year! So, he won’t have to worry about mobs of people…

Like most people, they criticize in others what they secretly despise about themselves, you fat asshole. 

Eh, I don’t want to have a fight about word choices here, but he hadn’t committed to anybody. The contract is the commitment. An informal agreement to later sign a contract is not a commitment.

Why were they interviewing post-bender mark Zuckerberg about barstool sports

Listen, I was 9 when the Tim Burton Batman came out too, but I try not to let it back me into bonkers takes like “Jack Nicolson was a better Joker than Heath Ledger.”

Unacceptable lack of Mark Hamill in there.

And here we go.... Six months of relentless bitching about unwritten rules.

It kind of almost looks like he’s upset because he knows he didn’t get all of it. Am I crazy?

“Plus they hate us because they ain’t us.”

Long ago, the Deadspin website was founded by a charming moppet named Will. Will loves the Cardinals dearly. I think the people who write for Deadspin take great joy in ripping the Cardinals for that reason mainly, but also because Cardinals fans are the worst in baseball, yet they consistently misidentify themselves a…

Short version: their fans.

Oh, calm down. It does not hurt you if I have beliefs. You’re why atheists get a bad name. And that’s coming from my atheist partner.

I’m a hunter and I hate the NRA for not getting this. 

Fun fact: “The Touching is, To Me, Off Limits,” was the original title of MC Hammer’s 1990 breakthrough single. 

“See, this is why I stay a virgin.” — Mark Davis

I was at the game in 1992 where Jason Kidd and Cal knocked of Hurley’s Blue Devils (in the pep band), so already seen him eat shit.