What you don’t understand is that Mike Pence is so conservative he only uses the old English version of the language.

Yes, Mike, I strongly desire to make America great again. I KRAV MAGA.

+1 throat smash

why is there a man in here

I voted for Clinton the Working Families ticket. Because, as this viral twete puts it,

I hope she helps with my navient loan.

Black North Carolinians: Please vote tomorrow and fuck their shit up. Sincerely, White New Englander

I remember as a kid being bemused by the fact the Royals had Bud Black who was white, and Frank White who was black.

“Wow! The new position of these chairs really lets you see the North Atlantic better!”

When I was a kid, these were two of my favorite baseball cards. I was thrilled when I got Bud Black to complete the picture.

No, but one bad bitch is about to put a boot in his ass

Re: “The Sandlot.” Isn’t the kid (Smalls) someone who knows nothing about baseball before he meets the neighborhood kids? Doesn’t he end up as an announcer for the Dodgers? Where do the Cubs feature in that movie? Maybe I just forgot.

C’mon man, that’s not fair. Sox fans can’t write.

I’m gonna treasure this moment of enjoying this mostly likable organization for now, because I know for the next ten years, I’ll be cursing this franchise into oblivion while drunkenly yelling at all of the pink hat-wearing Cubs “fans” that walk through the turnstiles of a Mariners-A’s game.

“it’s a gritty, tough, hard-working shrimp. The word that probably best describes it is tenacious.”

Without “negative Twitter” I never would have seen this Vine (RIP) and known, without a doubt, that I’m headed right to hell via first class.

To Rubén Vezo, Thanks for nothing! Neymar

It’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo… Always use the indefinite article A dildo, never YOUR dildo.

It was flagged for leading with the helmet.

I liked that song about his mom smoking pot, hitting the bottle and the crack rock. “All Star,” I think it’s called.

I’m sick of Joe Buck blabbering about anything.