Dude, have you slept through the last two years?

Pictured: A horse’s ass, and some sort of strange equestrian tail decoration.

During the World Series, my wife found a profile of Marlins Man, and it turns out he’s actually a pretty chill guy who happens to have money and love sports. He doesn’t have a family or anything, so he just travels around going to sporting events because it makes him happy. There was even a decent explanation of why…

I love that this guy’s been on the radio for decades and still can’t manage to get through more than about 10 seconds without creating feedback from the mic.

I don’t disagree, but the Charlize Theron scale is also excellent:

I’m not necessarily saying you’re wrong here, but the Dumbest Man in MMA title is a tighter competition than any actual MMA fight.

Plus it’s fat and pink.

1. Angels

I don’t get why people are always saying this. I’m no Dodger fan, but I’m in Southern California, and Dodger fans are among the most dedicated I’ve seen. They’re smart fans, they travel, and they honestly really love their team. It’s really just a dumb stereotype.

How is any of that surprising? California is full of transplants from other places, especially miserable-ass places like Boston; and Boston is a bandwagon full of people who think baseball was invented in 2004.

He’s definitely Not Mad.

Someone should remind Dave Roberts that he already helped Boston win a World Series.

He looks like some sort of unholy union between Magic Johnson and Patrick Ewing.

No way. Rogers played in a pro-style offense under Jeff Tedford at Cal and put up numbers that were both gaudy and efficient. Hell, the Niners should probably have taken him at No. 1.

Asomugha was pretty damn good for a lot of years there; among the least targeted DBs is the league for three or four seasons straight. Plus, now he’s a critically acclaimed actor!

The slow-mo absolutely makes it, especially on that pathetic layup.

Don’t be ridiculous. If Carr were in tears, you’d be able to see his eyeliner running.

The key phrase is definitely in that earlier tweet where he talks about the chances that “other people” might not get -- other people like, say, former minor leaguer Chuck Johnson.

Yankees-Red Sox aka Rooting for the Meteor

I was out at a bar and met a girl. We were drinking and dancing and getting to know each other, and I tried to make out with her on the dance floor. She said no, and that she didn’t like PDA and that we’d just met. So I got her number and called it a night. We went out a few days later. Next year we’ll celebrate 10…