Yankees-Red Sox aka Rooting for the Meteor

I was out at a bar and met a girl. We were drinking and dancing and getting to know each other, and I tried to make out with her on the dance floor. She said no, and that she didn’t like PDA and that we’d just met. So I got her number and called it a night. We went out a few days later. Next year we’ll celebrate 10…

“They don’t serve the exact artisanal gluten-free IPA I want, so I’ll just drink some bleach instead.”

That’s J.J. Watt.

A Southern accent.

Well, 3,000 brown people died, so to Trump, that’s definitely a success.

Stay away from the Horsey Sauce, amiright?

“She made the greatest turkey I’ve ever had.”

The only people who derive that much happiness out of a single win have a brain disease.

Red Wave is definitely some sort of signal from the Manchurian Candidate to let the Russians know it’s time to invade.

At least one high-paid CEO out there is trying to relate to his customers.

I used to think all Republicans were intolerant until I realized that they exhausted all of their tolerance on really stupid people.

I don’t have a strong opinion either way, but I’m impressed by your analysis. Also, isn’t he considered like, racist-adjacent? I know Chappelle had a bit about it.

Second-place trophies

I mean, it’s not like they have jobs.

As both a Thompson fan and a Chargers fan, I really wish Irsay would have listened.

I was thinking the same thing. And the woman next to him is definitely smirking.

Such a thin line between completely tone-deaf and completely honest, amiright?

Again with this shit? Might as well be another HamNo rant about how bad it sucks to work at Amazon.

(Non-consensually) fuckin’ soldier!