I can’t answer your question (nor do I even want to think about it), but those are some high-quality epithets, my friend.

Dude, he hit him on the arm. Have you considered decaf? If Stanton doesn’t want to risk getting hit again, but Fiers or by anyone else, he shouldn’t be in the majors either.

Counterpoint: Sure you can. Stanton can retire if he doesn’t want to risk getting hit (unintentionally) again.

Amen to that! Or not. You get the idea.

Who wants to move to Colorado with me and open a bakery that makes cakes only for gay weddings? We can refuse to make cakes for the Christians and claim religious freedom!

He’s putting the “full” in Fullerton.

You’re not wrong; it’s just a stupid decision.

She’s the Babe Ruth of women’s soccer!

Well, all that dirt shows up much more on a pink hat.

For your sake, let’s hope whoever invades your home is courteous enough to give you time to open your safe.

What a bunch of Effing a-holes.

“Well, that explains a lot..”

Clearly it’s not wise to Provo-ke James Harden.

TSDR: Too stupid; didn’t renew

You’ve dropped this hot take so many times, I’m not even sure whether you’re being sarcastic at this point. Yankee fans are basically a virus comprising bandwagon front-runners and/or transplants who no longer want to live on an island that smells like urine. There are 81 home games in a season. Also, everyone here…

I can’t tell whether #7 is trying to sell the fake touch pass, or is just completely mesmerized. I can’t stop watching it.

“Earn your pinstripes! Insist on playing center field even though you might be a below-average defender, thus relegating a better center fielder to one of the corner outfield positions!”

That’s right, asshole: Here in Civilization (California), we don’t care about protecting the border because the people who cross it are predominantly warm, caring, hard-working people who are an essential part of our economy, which is, by the way, the fifth-largest economy in THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. Also, most…

For what it’s worth, you succeeded in typing a thoughtful comment. Mine would have contained much more frustration-based profanity.

Of course he’ll eventually regress, in the same sense that Andrelton Simmons won’t hit .400 this year, but it would be totally reasonable to expect him to have a slow start given all the expectations. So even though it’s technically a small sample size, it’s still amazing that he’d come out of the gate so hot both at…