Captain-Bartlet
Captain Bartlet
Captain-Bartlet

I want to make a drive-thru cheese shop called "Whey to Go!"

parenting is mostly voodoo. this seems like as good of a strategy as any

The tags are killing me! #DORITOS

This would cause me so much joy, followed by shame, followed by confusion, followed by hunger.

Writing MRA comments on Jezebel.

I blame most of my life problems on the fact that I never got my Hogwarts letter.

It sucks when you don't get the letter from Hogwarts.

This is why I teach:

Preach. The drawer knobs in my lab are at exactly belt loop height for me. I am all the time rushing to do something and getting violently jerked backwards.

THIS! Every time I walked by the little wine fridge my belt loop would catch. It sucked so much.

Butler library at Columbia Univ (at least 3 times), someone's front lawn in upstate NY with a girl i met at a party at like 3 AM (needless to say, we were shitfaced drunk), an empty classroom in the old Stuyvesant HS building during an anti war event, behind one of the columns at the worldwide plaza building on 8th

In my grandparents' bathroom. Disturbing, I know, but not all that scandalous? It gets worse.

I bet Obama thinks that pretty often.

GLEN COCO IS #1. #1 FOR GLEN COCO, YOU GO GLEN COCO! And none for Lindy West, bye!

i've seen the tortoises at the Philly Zoo get it on as well, numerous time. Who knew big turtles were such libidinous creatures?

Oh God, no. The Diva Cup people are worked up enough already.

Counter Point: How often do you even wear undies? I have not owned a pair of underwear in at least 5 years.

Reading this makes me feel like I need to shower, and I'm not 100% sure why.

If I were her, I would make this my official image for all eternity:

I remember reading somewhere that the most common name for mistresses in the 1990s was Jennifer; it replaced Kimberley, which ruled the mistress roost in the 1980s.