That is both the most awkward and amazing story I've read so far. That's hilarious.

It was a hot summer night, and my friends and I were hanging out with some new neighbors. One of them was super cute, and I had just gotten out of a relationship, and I was hot to trot. I basically ended up telling his friend that if this guy was DTF, I was a sure thing.
So, of course, he comes back to my place.
Looking…

I know I'm being repetitive, but that is just awful. Was this a job you had been really working towards?
Thinking about my former situation, have fellow coworkers have abandoned you, as if you carry some never-to-be-promoted virus? I sure hope not.
You aren't alone, McCoy's Mistress. It's going to get better.

Oh my god, I was in EXACTLY that place, not 3 months ago. And I was searching for a job for over a year. Every day, I was hiding in my office, away from shitty coworkers and an insane and vindictive boss. I was petrified I'd be fired before I could escape - it felt like everyone had it in for me. I got out, but only…

In solidarity, I'd love to share this with an overly aggressive coworker, who seems to think I'm too emotional. I think the best thing is to not be that coworker, who tries to point out other people's faults.
...But don't think I don't want to do it. It would feel soooooooooo good.

I've been there. And it fucking sucks. I hope you're okay.

Whaa... Bacon isn't important to this man?

You know, I actually use Dollar Shave Club. And I totally dig it... but I don't think it's marketed to men and women equally. Sure, their commercial/video is BA, but it's pretty bro-tacular. Maybe they could add a bro-ette, too? Or again... maybe just two normal people?

I had a vision last night - seriously, I'm not making this up - of a razor commercial with a man and a woman, side-by-side.
In the commercial, both the man and woman are wearing jeans and button down shirts. Okay, maybe the woman is wearing a jean skirt. And they are both talking about how they both bought the same…

I would love it if you'd post a list of products for women that were made and advertised by women. I would buy items specifically from that list, if they existed.

Every time she does a weird triple-blink and incredulous gasp combo, like Kristen Stewart in the Twilight movies, drink.

Boo! I yearn for a good story to compliment my BDSM porn. I am not saying this is it, mind you, but I would looove a good backstory.
RL porn is so boring and repetitive. It always seems to follow the Amy Schumer Law: "Spoiler alert: he comes on her face!"

I started reading this, and then realized it would take the whole lunch hour to read all of them. Which is an excellent way to point out that this shit happens all the time, and it is not ok.

20. Isn't that awful?

I'd like to add something inspired by a friend's daughter, who on their recent summer vacation, jumped over fences with signs reading, "DANGER — 50 FOOT DROP. DO NOT CROSS FENCE" to do a yoga-pose selfie on the side of a cliff:

Are you doing something illegal or dangerous? No. Do not take a selfie. Also, stop doing…

Yours and my husband both. For a moment I thought, "Should I do one of these...?" which was quickly followed by, "Nah, I don't want to be a dick. Maybe I'll just talk to him."

There is so much IDGAF going around <3 <3 <3

You don't need anyone's approval to be IDGAF-ish, but I applaud you either way <3

This part was, without a doubt, my favorite part of that book. And it's probably why Fallon isn't really my favorite.

Meh, I like doing it.
Sorry I'm not sorry.
IDGAF