Yep. One of my SILs is a pediatric critical care MD. Back when babies were still coming along she interrogated everyone about boosters.

This made me fall a little bit in love with you. xx

Hey, I honestly feel like it’s their choice. We are going to have a lot going on, and if they would rather not get vaccinated than see our baby, it’s totally okay with me. Honestly. But don’t judge us for talking to our doctor and doing research and deciding on what is best for the health of our newborn child, you…

You win.

What a selfish piece of shit that person is. Sorry if they are family but honestly...what is WRONG with people?!

Don’t get me started on vaccinations and newborns. We have a close family member refusing a vaccination and acting like it’s our fault they won’t be able to see our newborn because we are FORCING vaccination on people. No, you have a choice - get vaccinated or wait to meet the kid. We are not forcing anybody to do…

This made my insomnia way less annoying. I can imagine a gaggle of coworkers huffling back laughter, with everybody else confused and or shocked, and it’s delightful.

Thank you!

Aha! I grew up in a particularly free wheeling community in Southern California in the 70’s. Many of my stories start the very same way. I certainly don’t know how to tell em like you do though. Whatever you do, keep writing. You’re hilarious!

no belly button? You need to go to “how to make a hamburger man camp” for six months.

Anti-vax is the Climate Change denial of the left. It’s where the anti-science kooks congregate, and for the same reasons. Texas is weird, in that as libertarian as its laws generally are, it is extraordinarily strict when it comes to vaccinations. Which shows that if you go far enough to the left, or far enough to…

Feel that pain, my kid found me eating a chocolate cookie last night. He got so worked up about it he didn’t go to sleep to 10.30!

Reminds me of my (male) boss who would only refer to my pregnancy as “your situation” while vaguely gesturing toward my midsection.

I fucking love you and I want to work with you just so you can eulagize my funeral please.

omg... I have had to read this 4 times and I am still laughing. Omg you win. You have outpissed everyone in this pissing contest.

You win the internet. #COTD

If Gawker doesn’t offer you a writer gig by the end of the weekend, I’m quittng it forever.

I. LOVE. THIS.

Bless you. You are a goddess.

You win. I won’t even post, because I can’t possibly top that. Nobody can. Gawker should get back to me when they want a good high school drama class story, but this on is out of my league. Nobody will top this.