"She also refuses to vaccinate me. PLEASE HELP."

Can you share the recipe? I have a friend with severe gluten allergies and would love to have a pizza recipe option for when she's over.

This is so sweet I may faint. Walking eating! Sannich! I am sure you know how adorbs your kid is, but 3rd party verification never hurts. I love hearing about parents who enjoy their kids.

My son just turned three this past Thursday—and he was born at 32 weeks (3 lbs 3 oz) after a crazy, totally sudden onset of pre-eclampsia. I went in to the obgyn for a routine "yep, all is well!" check up—but insteas they said to me, "you're going straight to the hospital and you probably won't leave it pregnant." I…

My four-year-old had a mommy-and-daddy date last night and she told us she wanted to go to a fancy restaurant with us and look fancy as well. I blow dried her hair, painted her nails and gave her a pretty dress. She ate Peruvian food and was a great dinner companion. It was fun.

Well, that sounds like a pretty rad day. Might have to take Little S walking-eating tomorrow!

My two-year-old had me paint her toes and watch Elmo's Song for an hour while we ate mozzarella sticks so yup, pretty banner day for both of us.

That sounds adorable and now my ovaries are tingling.

Hilarious. Mine would've had us following garbage trucks and trying to ride wild life at age 3. He's 5 now, but I may take your advice anyway.

Holy shit, just laughed so loud I scared my dog. As a recovering Catholic (6 years religion free), that's the funniest blasphemy I've read in a while! Bravo!

I was already laughing, and then I got to this, and now I'm in tears! That is too funny!

My life will never be as interesting as yours. You win everything. <3

Not gonna lie. Ramen Noodle Truck Stop man had me chortling along.

I feel like you should either have a regular column on Jezebel about the blind dates set up by your mom, or just write a damn book. Your accounts are so damn entertaining.

THIS MAKES UP FOR ANYTHING YOU MAY HAVE EVER FELT YOU'VE DONE WRONG IN YOUR LIFE. GOD IS JUST AND MERCIFUL!

If that's the meanest thing you've ever done on a date then you're a really nice person. Girl's gotta have standards.

Four seconds just to find the colander, and one for "sorry"?

RE: Jesus-promise dude

I really like your open stance approach ... it seems like it would indeed take a bit to upset you.

The first time is the worst time. I was 17 and this guy I worked with 'dared' me to sneak into his house and do it with him (he was a virgin too). I told my mom I was staying at a girlfriend's house and then snuck into his parent's house undetected and into his bedroom. We were both too awkward to just start making…