We’ve been working on it, but I had a hard time keeping a straight face when he was telling me what to write.

If you need a palate cleanser, my almost 5-year-old decided he wants to be president, and asked to make a “TV president commercial” (campaign ad). So he wrote it, and chose the pictures for it. All I did was work the iMovie.

Fun fact: Reince Priebus is Latin for Anthropomorphic Talking Dick.

Baby Side Eyes responds.

Since last night, I’ve been trying to get the Irving PD (@IrvingPD) to respond to me on twitter when I offer to turn myself in for using a clock on a daily basis, and for contributing to the delinquency of a minor by buying my kid a clock, too.
Maybe more people need to do this so it can become an actual thing.

Whichever one doesn’t have ragweed in it.

— Written under the influence of a lot of Nyquil and Zyrtec

I grew up in a fundamentalist church so strict it felt Southern Baptists were too liberal. But even we were told that if we worked places where our job duties didn’t jibe with our Bible duties, we should try to find a way to accommodate both. If you worked at a grocery store, ask if you could avoid the cigarette…

I would like to know what labor force the contractors we employ to build these walls will use.

We had a gorgeous-still-talked-about-5-years-later wedding for $10,000 (not counting rings because that’s a whole ‘nother discussion). And I’m a wedding planner, but I steadfastly refuse to take on giant-budget weddings. I’ve learned some things from my wedding and the other champagne taste/budweiser budget weddings…

Time to dust off my new favorite Judy Blume gif ...

I got into a discussion the other day with a republican state rep who is as moderate as you can get in the current political climate in Texas (which is to say, only a little). He is pro-vax, understands the public health ramifications, and agrees that it ought to be the price (true medical exemptions aside, of course)…

That Nova is my go-to when I get into a debate about vaccinations (which inevitably happens when I mention we went for Tiny’s FluMist, or when he gets boosters).

Hah! Thank you. I think not quite believing that happened myself helps.

Hah. I grew up in the south, to a family in an conservative evangelical church that thought Southern Baptists were too liberal.

Half my stories begin with, “You won’t believe this shit, but ...”

Any bottle is a serving if you’re ambitious enough.

It’s not as glamorous as it sounds. Right now I’m hiding in the pantry and eating chocolate so that my child can’t get out of bed and demand his share.

I believe it. I cover public education now. This summer, I talked to a principal at a local elementary school where the poverty rate is actually more like 98 percent - and that’s only because a few of the teachers bring their kids to this school, too.
He told me he was terrified for his students last winter when we…

I was about to say that I’d perform the Heimlich, but sometimes my actions and words get misheard ...

I have just seen some shit, man. SEEN SOME SHIT.