My aunt would actually be much improved by hydrophobia.

Ain’t that the truth!

Thank you. I thought nonserviam was way the hell out of line.

You’re so right! Compassion and empathy might not be the answer to everything, but they sure come close. I’m happy for you that you evidently have an ample capacity for both.

Yeah, OK, I’m sorry for her too now, but it’s not like any of those factors are your doing. You shouldn’t have to pay the price.

Big is good! (I’m small myself. I would love to be strapping and Amazonian!)

That sucks. At least you had Aristotle to console you! (Not.)

Yay! Happy dance! (About the ladies backing you up, not your mom being such a miserable cow.)

What makes a good prostitute?

Seconded.

Just — why? Why would you say that to anyone? Let alone your daughter?

What is wrong with your aunt? Miserable cow!

Damn.

Prednisone sucks. (Except when it’s, you know, saving your life.)

Probably because you’re awesome and gorgeous.

Curly hair is awesome.

Damn.

Holy sh it!

That was extremely rude. Please don’t behave that way here.

Hilarious final line. I’m totally stealing it.