This is better than my theory. I thought she was upset that he didn't take the white tie dress code seriously.

I have been repping my "he spoiled Game of Thrones" theory and no one seems to be running with it.

This also seems extremely plausible. TRACIE, WHY IS THIS NOT LISTED AMONG YOUR TOP THEORIES

Oh, is this another 'Paranormal Activity' sequel? Because it looks like one. Except quite scary.

Maybe she was under the mind-control of the aliens that took Malaysia Airlines Flight #370!

Now this is a good theory. I like it. Vengeful Ghost 4 da win.

Oh, my God, this fan fiction: "Maybe he said something like, 'Nice way for a mother to behave.'" Jezebel, if you're going to just indulge in making shit up about celebrities, why not go all the way? MAYBE SOLANGE WAS POSSESSED BY A VENGEFUL GHOST.

You know how every week, you guys trash tabloid articles for making wild accusations based on "body language" and unnamed sources? I DOUBT THE VERACITY OF YOUR CLAIMS, JEZEBEL!

Holy fucking shit. This is over the top and completely unnecessary. I'm actually so embarrassed for Jezebel at this moment.

Seriously the Solange Elevator attack is to Jezebel what Flight 370 is to CNN.

I don't know what Solange was mad about in the elevator, but she really must be irate now that she is all over the news wearing that tragic dress that she probably wishes she had never worn and everyone could forget.

This was thoroughly pointless. I would've liked a discussion of why these are the narratives we are quick to turn to. Instead it's just another piece of pure speculation. We have literally zero clues so far, so why bother?

Somehow I think if a male celebrity beat up a female celebrity, Jezebel wouldn't be making an article listing the theories on what the woman did to get a beating. But hey, victim-blaming is only bad when it's against women and physical violence is only horrible when a man commits it and no woman would ever hurt a man…

Holy crap am I ever thankful that strangers don't analyze and speculate about my family feuds!

I think this is the fourth post about this today. The video. A second video. Tracy Moore's "think piece" and then this. Slow news day? This is a lot of projecting.

Hey, I just don't think that this sort of thing should be shown on television. It is just too over the top. I don't want my children exposed to this sort of thing, and it is just not part of my belief system that this sort of thing is appropriate.

I don't have a problem with houses exploding per se, but on live television? What am I supposed to tell my kids?

Death to the think piece.

Maybe you'll get more bites today, LobstahThermidor. I'm crossing my fingers for you.

I totally have had the suspicion that B. Coop is a shady as fuck. And my opinion of him dropped even lower when he took his 21 yr old girlfriend to a park in Paris and read Lolita to her while she wore no make-up and overalls and looked about 11.