This is really smart.

Wait....for real? What the fuck.

PLEASE listen to yourself. You're saying you can see him being capable of MURDERING you. Get out.

He is a liar and has demonstrated repeatedly that he is a liar and you keep waiting for him to reveal himself not to be a liar. It won't happen.

This also seems extremely plausible. TRACIE, WHY IS THIS NOT LISTED AMONG YOUR TOP THEORIES

Meh, I related to B's reaction (or lack thereof). Either 1) she's seen it all before, or 2) she shuts down in times of crisis, like I do. But it doesn't seem so absurd to me that she wasn't jumping into the fray.

Oh, my God, this fan fiction: "Maybe he said something like, 'Nice way for a mother to behave.'" Jezebel, if you're going to just indulge in making shit up about celebrities, why not go all the way? MAYBE SOLANGE WAS POSSESSED BY A VENGEFUL GHOST.

...why would he not be able to tell people that his father used to be a stunt double on Community?

Oh well, at least we have next year's NBC lineup to look forward to.

Ha! Glad I added the disclaimer.

You should be proud not to be able to participate, it's kind of a gross game.

Oh lighten up! I'm sure their children are laughing just as hard as we are at the fact that their parents fought, possibly hurt each other, and also wrote songs once. (This is sarcasm/I'm with you.)

Insert pithy song lyric here to ignore what a huge bummer this story is

There's actually a lot of dark comedy on Mad Men, which Hamm handles wonderfully.

When I was fifteen, I read a joke by Joan Rivers in an issue of Entertainment Weekly. She was talking about Kate Winslet at the Oscars, and she said "One of her arms alone could have sunk the Titanic." Thanks for all the strides you've made for female comedians, I guess, but as far as I'm concerned Joan Rivers is a…

Oh my God. The idea of this is making me literally LOL.

Yeah, I am very curious to know the sampling size of women she spoke to to come to the conclusion that she is such a special snowflake among her otherwise dull gender.

This is a great response. I have to assume that LW1 is just extremely young, because otherwise her letter breaks my heart.

How do they all look exactly the same and yet they all look completely different every time I look at them, just minute variations on the same generic white bro theme?

I know this isn't a particularly mature or trenchant observation, but—no man has ever looked more like a rapist than this man. He is like the platonic ideal of Rapist.