Fry cheerios in a skillet with butter.  Season with garlic and onion powder. Serve.

I do, but for whatever reason, I can’t get CBS over the air. I can get Fox and NBC, though.  

Refrigerators are more efficient the more full they are. So, unless it’s an overcrowding issue or there’s a reason to keep it outside, I say keep it all in the fridge. 

It amuses me that if they just paid the 13,000 workers 50k a year for six years, it would have been a better deal for Wisconsin. But handouts are bad.

I didn’t know you were writing for the Onion.

Those beggin strips always bugged me. The gist of the ad seemed to be the dog thought everything was bacon, so why were we supposed to be impressed he thought the beggin strips were bacon?  Also, why should I care if Mikey likes Kix. He’ll eat anything, he clearly doesn’t have discriminating taste.  

Routines to turn the smart plug enabled lights on or off, Reminders, and using Spotify to switch between listening to podcasts on my phone and the echo.

If only there were some way to find out. Alas, this will remain a mystery forever.

Probably the Thistle-Men.  

It’s worth remembering that other people’s food choices don’t affect you.  

Or, you know, just show up on time. Be honest about your actual ability to get somewhere, and leave when you need to. Your phone knows exactly how long it takes.

Remember kids, Any pie is a hand pie if you believe in yourself.

You’re a condiment.

The best thing on the menu is the frosted lemonade. 

I agree. They are bad. The chicken is good, though.

I assume he was charged with a salt and buttery.

To find the image, did you just google “sad diet?”

There’s one near me. You can get an iced coffee with a scoop of ice cream floating in it. I hope it never closes.

I wanna munch.

It’s like the old joke about if Apple made a car they’d only run on 10% of the roads, but for real.