Which time?

Or you could get a microfiber mop like this for less than fifty bucks:

Thank you. I thought I was the only one irrationally angry about this advertisement.

Wait till you try it with Mayo.

Douchegasm is great. When does their new album come out?

He’s just sad because Mommy and Daddy don’t love each other anymore:

Extra crunchy.

Pigs are magical.

I would like a Mocha Latte, hold the coffee, served in a monogrammed thermos. The thermos can’t be red, though, because I am allergic to red.

UHF is the best. I need to watch that movie again.

A travel agent could handle all aspects of your trip to Walt Disney World, booking flights and hotels, and planning out your park-hopping and Epcot-eating itinerary.

Same basic idea. Someplace cool so the bodies don’t start to smell.

Stack them in the walk-in, and leave town.

Like pudding?

Can I have the crunchy red on the side?

Oh no, I am allergic to crunchy red. Can you hold the crunchy red?

What’s your soup du jour of the day? And does it come in a monogrammed thermos?

Correct Answer: Nicki Minaj.

Other uses for old battleships.

I am not surprised.