She's not a drug addict, though. They were collecting the drug to make the bomb. Still, chances of survival are pretty low, but at least the polar bear gets a tasty snack.

Nine years sounds like an exhaustingly long bachelorette party.

Excellent point. Drunker people should tip extra.

but the bowls weren't changed between customers, so they're supposed to wash their hands in dirty water?

What are you supposed to do with the water? Is it for handwashing?

Most people won't go to buffets with me anymore because I spend too much time calculating the tip, so your appreciation is welcomed.

Um, thanks?

20% of drink order plus 10% of food order, doubled each time the tables around you rotate customers if you stay longer than normal.

In fairness to the construction workers, it seems rather unfair to place food-like substance on the salad bar that's not for eating.

Brett Ratner is the worst. Everything made by him is terrible.

69 went out of style? I really am out of touch.

You don't wear your bike helmet

Tacky.

One of these

Suddenly I have a huge case of FOMC. Fear of Missing Cake.

Glad I planned ahead and scheduled my wedding for 13/14/15. I hope that Smarch weather holds up.

Win Ben Stein's Boner.

Punishment soccer is a dangerous game, best left to professionals like Pemily Stallwark.

I don't want to blame the victim, but maybe a hunting trip isn't the best way to celebrate with the married man who got you pregnant.

I call shenanigans.