Here's the thing, gentlemen. Idris Elba doesn't have to do ANY of that, and he is still the most deisrable ever. Beucase he is Idris Elba. So keep on grabbing tampons and finding cell phones, because that is what you have to do to make up for the fact that you aren't Idris Elba.

How about a heaping plate of BBQ with some delicious sides? No ones getting offended at that.

You may choose from two of the following: a peach tree, an alligator, the Blue Ridge Mountains, a cotton gin, a tobacco leaf, or a bottle with "XXX" on it.

I'll hold back my excitement until brain transplants become a reality.

Don't make me find you, Looper-style!

I wonder how Miley hasn't been sued by Tina Fey or the WNBA. Her dancers are clearly a ripoff of the Timeless Torches. You know I'm right.

Yeah I can't imagine it would be much different than the guys who come into strip clubs or book strippergrams.
I dance, and 99% of my clients just want someone to talk to them, and to be nice to them. And people get lonely on holidays so it goes to reason that business would pick up during the holidays.

I took the day off from work, scheduled a 2-hour massage, a hair appointment, and had mani-pedi. Tonight I'm topping it off with a steak and a viewing of my very favorite movie: Ghostbusters.

I'm fine with not having a man in my life right now because I LOVE ME. So, in effect, somebody DOES love me! I'm my own Valentine, and I couldn't be happier about it.

I'm already here. I have no control over impulse. This winter has solidly kicked my ass. I am celebrating v-day with F.U., champagne, shortbread sunflower seed biscuits, my beagle, and later, my vibrator. I win. I win.

Are we sure those are nipples and not the barrels of machine gun jubblies on what is so clearly a femmebot?

I thought the same thing, but probably because I'm 30 and own the MSCL box set. I mean, I don't CARE if he can't read! I CAN TEACH HIM WITH MY LOVE! (ok, I realize that Jordalano is not a real person)

Oh I've missed Baby Goose!

I got a deep dish you can eat, Ryan.

Nope...not weird at all. THIS IS WEIRD: I fantasize that I'm Frank's wifey...I teach him to dance to "Drunk in Love" , we make love *hard*, order a big ole feed of sushi and then plan the annihilation of our enemies drinks and cigarettes. Yep, that's pretty damn weird.

There's something about a suit, I guess. Anyone can wear a piece of clothing that is a suit. But it's different when someone *wears the shit out of* a suit while just basically killing it in every area of their life.

I have forgotten 90% of season 1. That is the danger of Binge-watching. Very Little retention

When I saw that headline, the first thing I thought of was "The Muppets Take Manhattan." Does this mean she and Kermit got a divorce? Are they renewing their vows? Celebrity couples, sheesh.

Mazel Tov!