Right, and how about "I'm eating a brownie, I'm such a bad girl!"

$500 for kissing, $10,000 for snuggling.

Not to mention the World's Worst Hooker.

Liz Lemon, a whore in the kitchen and a cook in bed.

Congrats on the family and the great genes!
I'm impressed by people who who keep their sanity and sense of humor after having multiple children. Size is just that.
This whole lets see who can get to their pre-baby body faster and hotter bullshit is just another distraction. As long as we are told all we amount to is our…

It doesn't really have anything to do with bravery, I consider it more an acceptance of reality.

Because men are people, women are women.

Can I say how much my blood boils when people pull the whole, "Oh, women hate other women/are jealous of other women" thing?

My excuse? I'm lazy.

I like to think Kanye got pulled over for speeding on the way home, but got off with a warning after he explained the situation to the cop and showed him that picture on his smartphone.

Fine, William Howard Taft visited Arkansas 5 times, and he was strictly against foreign intervention.

Aaaand they'd be all for financial assistance, Head Start programs, and whatever social programs to make sure the resulting offspring are fed, clothed, and schooled. But of course they're not, because JEEBUS.

My husband and I have a long running joke that we will apply to anything in life.... "Once I finish making this spaghetti, I will finally be happy". "Once we paint that bedroom wall, I will finally be happy". "Once I get through this week at work, I will finally be happy."

I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours...

My girlfriend was a Nielson Diary person last year. We answered it very honestly, and loaded that log book up with RuPaul's Drag Race, every episode of The Real Housewives the aired that week, and as many PBS documentaries as we could fit in! Trying to skew the averages as best we could!

BRAINSTORM: We make a video of a group of women 'pranking' men by asking them to let girls kick them in the balls for testicular cancer awareness! You know, for charity!

Trivializing something that is literally killing people (yep men too!) is humiliating. Groping women (only the pretty ones though, right?) under the guise of charity is humiliating and demeaning. Engaging in predatory behavior that is otherwise inappropriate in any other context is humiliating. Talking about merely…

Americas Funniest Home Videos has conclusively proved that getting hit in the nuts is HILARIOUS! So, if you see one of these guys, just reciprocate with well placed blunt object. But be sure to - "inform everyone involved that it was just a joke."

Let them also please remember that the focus should be on saving the woman who's, ahem, attached to the boobies. And sometimes, saving her means getting rid of the boobies. But that would make boners sad, so we don't bring that up.

What a great position to put the women in. Let a man sexually assault you or you don't support the fight against breast cancer. I was about to type "What's next?", but really don't think I want to know the answer to that. Can we please PLEASE PLEASE remember that breasts are not necessarily always there for the…