I haven’t been this mad at Cousins since Grandpa died without a will.

I appreciate mentioning Goldman (though Floyd was also flagged for a normal tackle) but that penalty did set up a Denver FG, which while earlier in the game did still matter. 

Since you asked, Leonard Floyd also got called for a bullshit personal foul for legally tackling someone earlier in the game.

Nobody cares about your Fantasy team, Gabe.

Big Boi’s fur coat was the true winner of the Super Bowl

“Brenda, this party is really dying. UNLEASH THE KITTENS!!!”

Strategic kitten reserves are a staple of any good party.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Rams...”

The hero we deserve.

The Super Bowl was so boring that people at the party didn't even stop talking through the commercials. The hosts had locked away their kittens but let them out at halftime to entertain us because the game sure wasn't getting the job done. 

You realize that would leave us with the Patriots and.....Eli?

Every team that loses a Super Bowl to the Patriots should be relegated to Canadian football until there are no NFL teams left except the Patriots and we can finally destroy the NFL for good. God damn these losers straight to hell.

Fun Fact: in the halftime show, Big Boi rode a Cadillac down the field for more yards than the Rams had in the entire first half.

Deep cut.

Once, in a friendly basketball game at the company picnic, the other team had the ball, and an errant lob pass was heading out of bounds. An opponent and I headed towards it, and he got there first, leaping to retrieve it and throw it back into the field of play.

Not a singular moment, but rather years of playing football (and to a lesser extent baseball) with extremely noticeable, terminal swampass. Just a giant circle of wetness from my crack to my taint whenever I broke a sweat, accentuated by our bright red football pants. I became so well known for it my nickname was…

I was an extremely bad baseball player. They used to start me and bat me 9th on the off-chance that two innings would take place before my spot in the batting order came up, and I could be pulled having played my league-mandated two innings.

8th Grade, 3-on-3 basketball tournament. Actually had a pretty good team, and made it to the semis.

I haven’t seen the Saints flayed this badly since Bartholomew.

Uh, Hem?  This may be redundant, but this IS an Arby’s, and you’re just screaming at your meat station.