From the album Asses to Asses.

“How to Jaguar” feels like a trailer for “Waiting for Guffman 2: Last-Place Ass Faces”

Oh, Roger E. Moore, God bless your verbose nerdy soul. 

IT’S ENRICO BOTLAZZO!

I am excited to see white guys get upset that a black running back is holding his team hostage by refusing to honor his contract for a team owned by a white billionaire who held a city hostage before refusing to honor his contract.

TRUMP: Are those people saying “Fuck Trump?” On MY news network?

The thing I love about this picture is how sad it must make Don Jr that his father loves Tiger more than him, because Tiger is a winner.

Jake and Elwood still have the #1 method for dealing with Nazis, acceleration.

I learned to drive when I lived in San Diego, and we lived and died by the Thomas Brothers Maps — spiral bound street maps with a huge street index in the back. You wanted to go to a party? You looked up the street, flipped to grid G6 on p. 87 to see where it was, and then painstakingly followed the streets back…

How many things have we put up over the last few decades that would spiritually wound people the world over if they burned down a century from now?

I haven’t gotten that choked up watching a legend past his prime needing an extra stroke to get it in the winning hole since Ron Jeremy.

He made a slightly snarky comment about “elite” in an otherwise straightforward post about getting airline seats that are blocked to travelers without preferred status. You didn’t need to elevate this to DEFCON BUTTHURT.

Robert Kraft should take a cue from Tom Brady and celebrate a championship by jerking off on a bare mattress in a secret room of a creepy hotel like a gentleman.

I can’t understand why someone would refuse the pain relief of the epidural unless it was going to endanger the mother or baby. This idea of the natural way of doing things is always better is bullshit. They used to have you bite down on something during an amputation. I doubt anyone who went through that would pass…

That’s my favorite music sequence in any movie. It does so much for advancing the story and is perfectly synched with what is happening on the screen. It’s even more impressive in the context of such a longer song and how Wes Anderson pulled out one section to fit perfectly with the movie. 

That interception was like watching a live-action recreation of me facing the blitz in Madden. 

Yeah, as an old even a game like this would have been a refreshing change of pace from the typical lopsided bloodbaths of the 80s and 90s. There were three straight years of the Bills getting beaten with bars of soap in rolled-up towels.

Way to waltz in and Lecy Goranson that absence, Drew.

TEACHER: Do you need to go to the bathroom?

Given his policies and wall obsession, would have been most appropriate if he chose White Castle.