Clearly this team needs to hire Coach Costanza to do the opposite next season.

Apparently Kip Winger’s material is too mature for right wingers.

Yet another lesson that men need to keep their dick in their pants, especially to prevent it from pecking out a Facebook update on their phone.

WHAT KNOCKERS!

I’m pretty sure Jim Tomsula could explain how you can EAT and DRINK a raccoon. But free range raccoons only for him.

That whole sequence is what my circle of hell looks like, followed by Fox at a press conference using 8000 words to explain why he made the dumbest decision possible. Plus Jay Cutler will be my Virgil and constantly blowing smoke in my face.

“Yes, things sure have changed a lot since I used to check out jeans at the County Seat.” - Roy Moore

Good news for Coach Harbaugh, this EPA is going to make it real easy for Michigan to play in the Dust Bowl.

H Is for Hot Take

Also, only a staffer or starred commenter can remove the ball gag.

Sometimes your friendships need to evolve or they die out.

If he said, “Can I take out a gun and fire it in the air?”, and then they laughed, and then he pulled out a gun and fired into the air, scaring the shit out of them, we would think he was nuts and completely in the wrong. And that is less traumatic to a woman than watching a guy whip it out and jerk off.

If I controlled the music at a baseball stadium, every time someone stole a base or beat a tag, I’d blare the chorus of Whitesnake’s “Slide It In.”

It is always gut wrenching when a guy’s joints look like an Escher drawing.

Jay Cutler spending the offseason preparing to be a broadcaster looks remarkably like Jay Cutler spending the offseason preparing to be a quarterback.

Crazy From the Tweets

I would be especially worried about this innovation if my name was Sarah Connor.

Really, he had us at “unlikely to break a teammate’s face.” The shooting is just a bonus.

+1 Deity and/or Demigod

In terms of fantasy, it is appealing to have a Tight Butt in a Flex position.