I also look forward to that annual Bears roast. But now it’s gone from joking with a friend who drinks a too much that he’s an alcoholic, to being at his intervention and trying to get him into rehab.

+2 black lungs

Dick Portillo has already scheduled his autographed photo shoot with him

The only explanation that makes sense is that Ditka warged into Ryan Pace so the Bears would draft a QB with a Polish name

Look, kids, it’s the food chain!

RODGERS: Hey coach, things are going great with Olivia, I’m going to ask her to marry me.

“I love the smell of Grey Poupon in the morning.”

I guess whether you believe this story Depends on your political orientation

As a Bears fan, I can relate to the Marvin Lewis conundrum. When Lovie was the coach, being competitive but finding ways to just miss the playoffs became too frustrating. So the Bears replaced that with being out of playoff contention by week 4 for the last 3 years. So while an 0-7 playoff record blows, at least there…

While I can believe Alshon Jeffrey was taking drugs, I don’t think they were “performance enhancing”

One of the best things about this championship and this Cubs team is that it should demolish a lot of this ingrained idiocy about curses and being an underdog. I am more than ready to root for a team that is considered a contender rather than a soft-focus sympathy case. The kind of bad breaks that happen to every team…

How about some free agents like

Ha, I completely forgot about the Seahawks game, and I was at the 2010 Championship game when Cutler got fried for pouting and Todd Collins looked like he had never played football until that day.

“Jay Cutler, shockingly, is NOT on that list.” This is the weird thing about being a Bears fan. I am in my 40s, and I have never really had a good QB to root for. Even McMahon wasn’t that great of a QB — good, sure, but hardly great. Because of this great void of talent at the most important position in football, I…

God, I loved that bit more than anything ever on Deadspin. Hilarious? LIKE NICHOLSON GIVING POLANKSI A ROMAN HELMET! Sexy? LIKE NICHOLSON GIVING FAYE DUNAWAY A ROMAN HELMET!

Always a bit sad when we reach the end of WYTS. So much hate, so little time. This feature always reminds me that I am a sports fan in large part because of how much I enjoy seeing sports torn down almost as much as I love the moments when my team rises above .500 to something entertaining (a rarity with the Bears…

And that Brad Johnson went up against Rich Fucking Gannon in that abortion of a Super Bowl.

Yes, it was like there was either a random factor or some hidden attribute where occasionally an average player would become a stud. And stud players would sometimes flop. I got really into Front Office Football for a number of years for the same reason, but it was never as much fun as FPS Football.

I nerded out so much over FPS. Used to print stats at the end of the season, box scores from all the games, and get genuinely upset when a beloved player had a career-ending injury.

I am fine with a WS appearance. The random aspect is so true, and so many teams that have done great in the regular season have come up short in the playoffs (like the 2008 Cubs). I'm also not a greedy fan. A WS loss would hurt because it always hurts to see your team get so close and just miss it, but overall I…