It is funny that Hayes doesn’t believe in dinosaurs considering he’s stuck in The Land of the Loss.

From now on, whenever the Falcons are eliminated from the playoff race, the top of Mercedes-Benz Stadium should open up and push out a 1000 brown balloons.

I lived in Michigan for a few years and had Sunday Ticket so I could watch the Bears (because I like spending hundreds of dollars on being angry). I invited a Lions fan to watch the games with me. He showed up in a Charles Rogers jersey. It was sadder than Sarah McLachlan coming over with a six-pack of abused puppies.

If the Deadspin staff were invited to a staff retreat in a remote mountain cabin, only to find out it’s a set up from a psychotic billionaire to acquire blood for his bizarre life-extension rituals, who perishes first and who makes it out alive?

This franchise is so tailor-made to go 7-9 every year that they should be called the Los Angeles .438s

Eagles fans are Raiders fans without the creative cosplay or Super Bowls.

One of the worst things is that the Bears never suck enough to be interesting. I am old enough that I watched the glory days of the 80s teams, but in the quarter-century since then, it’s been a nearly endless parade of 5-7 win seasons where the Bears pick high enough to affirm their terribleness but low enough that…

That DVD version is what sealed my hatred for the way Lucas handles his movies. We bought all three, and at first I was really happy: the color and quality looked amazing! And then I saw the CGI that had been added and realized I had put the wrong side of the disc in. I flipped it over for the original version, and it…

The picture explains a lot about why Heyward's hitting has slumped, as he clearly is hallucinating about very large, very wide breasts being right in front of him.

This feels like a Brian Hoyer pass that, while technically was where the receiver was supposed to be, gets returned for a pick six because of misreading the defense.

SAY WHAT YOU MEME AND MEME WHAT YOU SAY

Good point. I have no idea if stats would back this up, but seems to me it would be less risky having a pitcher play LF or RF than relying on the pitcher to get a hit in a clutch situation. The majority of plays to the corner outfield spots are fairly routine, and as long as the pitchers are in reasonable shape, I…

In order to give this measure the serious consideration it deserves, I asked myself which one of these owners I would hit with a car if I saw them crossing the street. The answer was unfortunately all of them, which didn’t illuminate the most deserving recipient. Then I asked, which one would I feed Cincinnati chili…

Even though I like the Warriors, as a Bulls fan, last night’s Cleveland win will be up there for keeping the 72-win Bulls ahead of the 73-win Warriors in the best of all time discussion. But as a Bears fan, the 1-2 for me would be when the 15-1 Packers loss to the Giants and the epic Packers collapse against the…

Okay, I admit, I did too much of a hot take on the all six teams being better than the Warriors. That was me tossing out a comment instead of working and that was a dumb comment to make. I respect LeBron a lot and this Warriors team is amazing. But during six Bulls runs, they faced elimination games twice, which is…

For one thing, Jordan and those Bulls teams never let themselves get down. For another, every team they beat in the Finals was as good if not better than Golden State. This Warriors team is phenomenal, but the Lakers, Blazers, Suns, Sonics, and Jazz teams were full of 50 greatest players and Hall of Famers.

I feel like we need a Jambaroo that rates potential Gawker buyers.

Tom Coughlin would be screaming in your face if you didn’t kick that kid at least 30 yards.

I was just in Vegas talking about whether Bill Simmons sucks now with my buddies Gonzo, Roach, and J-Shart. We all used to read him back in college when the four of us shared a house. Back then, I’d read Page 2 on my laptop while I was dropping the kids off at the pool, until freaking J-Shart would break in and drop…

So perfect.