I miss the old grilled stuffed burrito. The supercharged one they sell now has too much going on — the old one was that perfect $4 quick meal when I didn't want a burger or chicken sandwich.

I was just happy this commercial didn't star an old man's genitals as Mitch McConnell.

I agree, he was a fantastic player and one of the few who I think deserved the term "role model." Hard working, both in his physical and mental preparation, and a good person to boot. Very sad news today.

I find this take on soccer about as accurate as the National Review's take on segregation.

The answer is that most conservatives do not know how to write punchlines. They believe that ideology equals a punchline, rather than writing a punchline to reflect an ideology.

"Has the president overstepped his authority in forcibly extracting a collective 'Awwwww!' from American citizens?"

A rare, behind-the-scenes look at how the founder of Home Depot obtains so much cheap wood.

Reading the French entry and the ass-blistering insufferability of American ex-pats who live in France made me wish for a World-Cup related haters tournament. We have the aforementioned ex-patriots, overzealous American soccer fans, overzealous American World Cup haters, condescending Europeans, racist soccer…

Pitcher: Hey, coach, I've been working on my slider.

+1 bag of oranges that won't leave any marks on the outside.

Donald Sterling reportedly won't stop the sale with a lawsuit against the NBA.

When a married person has an affair with a non-married person, the married person is ALWAYS more at fault. Lewinsky is hardly blameless but Clinton was married and the president. Why is he more or less of the hook among Democrats but she is still vilified or lampooned?

The Chicago Cubs...the nighttime whiffing, stranding, choking, tanking, cellar-dwelling, trade-baiting, go-ahead-and-sleep baseball team.

If the pastor has said it once, he's said it a thousand times: you can bring those people to the church, pass them the collection plate, and save their souls, but for God's sake, don't broadcast that you are associating with them!

I don't recommend polling via a show of hands.

The problem with Seth MacFarlane is that he grows the lowest hanging fruit on the shortest tree in the deepest valley of comedy. He can be funny, sure, and lets face it, if we didn't find lazy, low-brow attempts at humor at least occasionally hilarious, none of us would read Deadspin comments. But he never, ever seems…

MR. TAGGART (executive producer): The studio says they want to make a Blazing Saddles for this generation.

JUDGE: Your word is "logorrhea."

Being dead never stopped John Cage from performing 4'33".

DEREK JETER'S KIDS: Ma, Ma, where's my Pa?