Sadly, it's not the first time a pierogi race has been disrupted some extended runs.

They are the only group left whose bitchiness can cause itching, swelling, vomiting, and potentially death. Well, them and Juggalos.

This should really have a trigger warning for people who played Resident Evil 4.

What a luccy turn of events for Washington.

Mushnick's next column will discuss how there are too many similarities between "Maclin" and "MAC-10" to ignore.

I would love to see ESPN have a "guilt by association" employment clause and then have to terminate every employee.

If there's one thing a smart NFL GM should do, it's release a player based on the detective work of the LAPD.

I had to waste a timeout because the playclock almost ran out before I got this. Well done.

Great piece.

Wow, Hobgoblin, that takes me way back. I remember thinking it was awful, and this was at the age of 12 when I was giving Piers Anthony a free pass.

That's an easy one: There would be no Tom Hanks if it wasn't for Bosom Buddies. There is Tom Hanks in spite of Mazes and Monsters.

The other thing that the truthers never get right is that the US government doesn't need to kill thousands of its own citizens as a pretext for starting a war.

The thing is, the CIA didn't enact Operation Northwoods. It's much easier to keep a plan a secret than an actual operation. The closer analogy would have been if the US had been able to sell the Bay of Pigs as an independent of invasion by Cuban expatriates.

To be fair, Magic Johnson did play a lot of tonsil hockey.

Irsay's lawyers plan to present his erratic driving, large quantities of cash and pills, and his choice of shirt as evidence that he was not inebriated but instead cosplaying an Eagles song.

No weapons.

The good news is that the sweatsuit and hat bans will keep out wise guys and pick-up artists.

No kidding. Who doesn't love the self-righteous victimhood of complaining drivers don't look out for them while disobeying every traffic law in existence? It's as if they view putting their feet on their pedals with walking on water.

A few years ago my nephew had a Thomas the Tank engine cake at his birthday party, with bright blue frosting. I pooped blue for about four or five days. It was funny the first couple days but VERY unsettling after that.

That one is worse than the face melting, but the one that I still think tops it is the guy who gets his heart ripped out in Temple of Doom. He doesn't just get his heart ripped out, he gets it ripped out and then dies when he is lowered into the volcano.