I was relieved that Josh's penis wasn't missing.

If you're having hurl problems, I feel bad for you son

That is a gem.

But now they have an empty bottle. My God, they could fill it with ANYTHING!

Quick, 15-20 seconds, throw few punches, then referees jump in and break this thing up.

In the Arizona Fall League, Amador struggled a bit, hitting .284 with four homers in 67 at-bats. He also struck out 17 times and walked once

Normally, this many cliches would get to me, but I have...DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!

Not to discount Popovich, who is a great coach, but 11 rings are 11 rings. Yes, Jackson had two of the all-time greats in Jordan and Pippen, but he also beat a lot of teams that had Hall of Famers and All-Time NBA 50 players.

I just want to find a place where I can order a mulled wine that's heavy on the cinnamon and light on the cloves without being tossed through the door or out the window.

Kevin's lucky that happened with a Nabisco product. I had a similar experience with a Keebler cookie, but when I bit into, I got an elf pube stuck in my throat.

+1, "Lamentations make me horny" should be in the Bible.

Run, Gaucho, Run

Disappointed to hear this could be killed by lack of funding since the study seems like a no-brainer.

It's not surprising that Eli struggles with his rhythm when he doesn't have Victor Cruz around.

Crime Dog, the exploits of a former major league baseball player who turns his excellent defensive skills on the field into a successful career as a public defender. Starring Tom Emanski as "The Judge" and introducing Flat Hat Brim as the unbending D.A., "Rigid Sunshade."

I am going to have this chart enlarged and use it to play beer Twister. You start by putting one of each beer on each respective marker. You finish by waking up alone and pantsless, surrounded by empty bottles and wondering why you have no friends.

I thought you could already do that through Craigslist?

And the winner for best performance by a Los Angeles Laker in 2014 goes to...Gravity!

I see they have begun principal photography for Brett Almighty.

Kobe's is impressive given that he didn't have Wilt's size advantage, but 100 is still 100. It's telling that Wilt owns four of the five top scoring records in the NBA, and his next-best performance was 78 points.