A real Schiano Man doesn't hate his coach's guts. A real Schiano Man devours his coach's guts and asks for seconds when he's done.

+ 1 swept leg

Nice, beat me to it.

+1 for creativity, -1 for making me think about that scene again.

All Bill Sheridan has to do is treat the Panthers offense like the people who showed up at 5:20 AM on Monday. Problem solved. Enjoy the other 15 hours and 39 minutes of your day, sir.

Eating Skyline chili is like hiring Bruce Coslet to run your bowels.

The man, who works as a bartender...

Ha, Kinja was pissing on me when I tried to post it.

Another bad sign for him is that his YPC trends downward with the number of carries he has. He starts around 3.5 for the first 15 carries but dips below 3.0 when he has 16 carries or more. The sample size for 16+ rushes is not very big (only around 80 carries) but for a power back, I think you'd expect the numbers to…

Another bad sign for him is that his YPC trends downward with the number of carries he has. He starts around 3.5 for the first 15 carries but dips below 3.0 when he has 16 carries or more. The sample size for 16+ rushes is not very big (only around 80 carries) but for a power back, I think you'd expect the numbers to…

Best interpretation I've ever seen of Matt Cassel's career with the Chiefs.

Best interpretation I've ever seen of Matt Cassel's career with the Chiefs.

Best interpretation I've ever seen of Matt Cassel's career with the Chiefs.

Call me Welker.

You can really hear the wind whistling through Bonds's ears.

Football teaches you to get up. There are more brain-damaging activities a teenager can engage in, with long-term consequences for your brain, than playing football. I think the guy who knows that better than most is President Obama!

It is funny that a column talking about "old-time baseball" and its traditions prominently features a Schwarze.

New York pizza is a lot like John Holmes's coked-out penis: large, floppy, unsanitary, and scarfed down by people who look like they are faking their enjoyment of it.

If there is a War on Football, would Greg Schiano be considered a suicide bomber?

Susan Reimer is not looking at the bigger picture, a future where, if AP's procreative trends continue, every fantasy football team owner will have a Peterson to start.