+1 comfy chair

were arrested on public intimidation charges

That's a surefire way to make sure no one ever lends you their chapstick.

This is terrible news for everyone except the Bucs receivers, who are unlikely to catch anything for the remainder of the season.

That Johnny Carson zinger was not only funny, it really sounded like something Johnny Carson would say to a group of pirates.

I've seen better plans for scoring in the Jacksonville playbook.

Seeing both the Jaguars and an 11-inch penis in action could be described as "fucking painful."

I realize Romo has had some high profile mistakes in his career, but if you look at his career splits, he has historically played better with each quarter. I don't want to Barnwell a comment, but here are his career QB ratings by quarter:

I tried to see the Jacksonville one, but it the light from my monitor couldn't escape the graphic.

I will definitely be adding a hydraulic crusher to my pet door.

Beatrice Firmlicker is a Bond-worthy name.

No Bears fan would miss that loose stool of a surface. It always looks like there was a GWAR concert there the night before the game.

It would be nice to see Boeheim get that fired up about his graduation rates.

I need more incentive if I'm going to be forced to live in Florida.

[Reads Josh Freeman is owed $6.2 million]

That's a pretty serious protest considering a cup of spit is worth one mortgage payment in Cleveland.

A Schiano Man sends a woman a dick pic by mailing her a head shot.

Does anything good ever happen when you transmit pictures of your genitals to another person? Asking for a friend.

Those pictures bear a startling resemblance to Titus Young's CAT scan

Good news: These games will be taken over by fully privatized teams playing in their stead. Look for the Halliburton Contractors to play the Academi Mercenaries this weekend!