I believe that Tebow has the power to take just two losses and turn them into a multitude.

I guess this means that Redskins fans would be calling for Cousins to start over Drew Brees since his stats after two games are very similar to RGIII's and Griffin's QB rating is actually two points higher.

I imagine Lisa Lampanelli would too.

This would explain why those still seeing red about steroids in baseball are the only ones who notice him.

So I turn on the VMA's, because everybody says you gotta check out this show, and it's a woman fucking a bear. You think it's going to be awesome, but it's not as cool as it sounds. You think, "A woman fucking a bear," and...it's a woman fucking a bear. To be honest, I felt bad for her. We all felt bad for her. And I…

My favorite moment on Deadspin every week is when I see the top of Robert Evans head when I read the Jambaroo. It's like seeing the peak of Everest over and over.

Dr. James Andrews: [points to X-ray] Mark, here's your shoulder. You see this spot? That's where your shoulder has been stretched due to excessive head-hanging, head-shaking, and shoulder-slumping, usually triggered after some kind of traumatic mistake. It's a condition known as derpitis.

These are fantastic. The Giants one in particular is so funny.

I hope we never see the Cleveland Browns version of this.

Bravo. I agree completely.

+1. This should be the example used on day 1 of Comment School.

I think two male cousins can have a threesome with the same girl as long as they're twice removed.

God never gives you more than you can handle.

Craggs: CHRIS KLUWE YOUR POSTS GENERATE OPTIMAL PAGE VIEWS. WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO CONTRIBUTE AGAIN. RESPOND.

If you made a Venn Diagram of the worst traits of Jerry Jones, Mike Brown, and Al Davis, Dan Synder would reside in the dead center.

+1 bushel of sweet corn. So good I could practically smell the Ped Mall.

Today's Pats fans are Bill Walsh-era Niners fans but with a cheese grater of an accent thrown in for good measure.

My nomination for worst Jets ever.

It's hard to believe the photographer would miss that until you remember that the biggest white ass in the Dolphins locker room is always Incognito.

A dramatic re-enactment of Pete Prisco insulting Deadspin.