Sitting? Bull!

+1 torn ACL

Dexter McCluster's WR/RB fantasy status on Yahoo nearly drove me to the brink of insanity, holding a roster spot for him in the hopes that he would be the second coming of WR/TE Marques Colston. "I could play him ANYWHERE!" I told myself. Instead it was like Kramer and Newman attempting to drive a truck of empty…

Friends of the victim also said he was just a good ol' boy never meanin' no harm.

RG3, meet RG 3'n'out

Breaking Vlad

I was so grateful someone took him before my late third-round pick in my draft over the weekend so that I wouldn't have to utter that phrase.

Darren McFadden may be the worst "I have to take him here, right?" player in fantasy history.

Post-office clerk: Hello, sir, can I help you?

The accident became a full-blown tragedy when the Fox Football Robot, realizing he had failed his primary directive of protecting Pam Oliver because he was flirting with the Roomba used to clean the Colts's turf, turned his left hand into a pistol and killed himself in front of dozens of children.

The accident became a full-blown tragedy when the Fox Football Robot, realizing he had failed his primary directive of protecting Pam Oliver because he was flirting with the Roomba used to clean the Colts's turf, turned his left hand into a pistol and killed himself in front of dozens of children.

When someone is swinging, it's not unusual for the catcher to get tapped on the top of the head while taking some hard balls.

This is a franchise that gave the name "Majik Man" to a QB with a career losing record who never made the playoffs. Which is like calling something "magic beans" when they don't grow a beanstalk but do make you shit your pants.

[Reads article]

Every time I see Joe Webb play, I have a moment of confusion because I wonder why a Bears quarterback is wearing a Vikings uniform.

It's technically an extendable 3-wood.

At the team dinner, however, Manuel's dentures were clearly out at the plate.

Dufner reaching for the his favorite club, the 6-wood.

Nothing says "Super Bowl Shuffle" like your new head coach once being an obscure 30 Rock punchline.

This franchise should be moved to Windsor and relegated to the CFL.