Fuck it, I'm going viral.

I don't know whether to laugh or throw up, so I did both.

I wish George W. Bush would slap a girl's ass every day.

They both feel threatened by the presence of Santorum.

Fantastic.

If football is war, Norv Turner is William Westmoreland.

Well done, comrade.

Humphries needs to worry less about whether someone is gay and focus on doing his job around the rim.

Jimmy the Greek likes the Black Team +1.5 thighs.

Vite's brother Jimmy was able to elude police and return to Theo Epstein with ivy in hand, thus becoming the Cubs leadoff man in 2012.

I am honored to have my comment chosen and to be in such esteemed company. And to think I was told I was wasting the company's time during my HR hearing.

I have a 3-year-old daughter. It is difficult to explain to her why it is okay for daddy to not only be in the bathroom when she's taking a dump but also to wipe her up, yet the reverse scenario is completely unacceptable.

My problem is that my bowel movements are just so regular and boring. Who wants to read about that?

Fire me? Fuck you, Bro-no-dick Arnold. Todd Haley doesn't need your fucking offensive coordinator to score anyway. Todd Haley just needs a stack of twenties, a Craigslist ad, and Todd Haley's motherfuckin' bro-jo.

Military time becoming trendy? Foxtrot me in my Bravo Hotel Oscar Lima Echo.

God working through Tebow matches His earlier work. After all, everybody forgets that the first nine plagues failed to get the Israelites to pay dirt and instead talks about the last plague that won it for them at the end.

Favre immediately became interested after seeing Donvan McNabb wandering around the Bears practice facility wearing an overly tight #1 Dad shirt.

Was this an excerpt from Olbermann's new book, Kissing Suzy Kolber for Thirty Pieces of Silver?

The secret to Taylor's demure posterior? A very Spartan diet.

Ndamukong Suh : football violence :: bukkake : money shots