Always Be Clubbing the ball.

+1 foreclosure notice

I guess this means my zubaz are okay.

It was later revealed that Albom didn't actually visit the Apple Store, but instead imagined what he would have done had he visited it.

I've seen Stormy Daniels make a lot of poles rise in the air.

Sounds like Anonymous is from the House of Lannister.

My money's on extraterrestrial blancmanges turning us all into Scotsmen.

I don't think Andy Reid would win a stinkiest poop contest because he would never know whether to shit or get off the pot.

Her name was Lola, she wore a neckbrace

Pictured: Colin Cowherd on the set of his new pilot, Fight Songs, about a college band director who saves the flagging popularity of the school's football team by covering popular songs in a college-band style. From the creators of Glee.

+23

Better than their previous promotion, free Irish car bombs every time the Pirates blew up the team.

Seems like Jim Miller and Tom Shales found their Chevy Chase for this book.

Reminds me of how Tipper Gore campaigned to have one-half of Wang Chung's name blacked out on their records.

+1 Salty Salute

If the owners were really losing money, they would open their books. It would be their best PR move. What those books would probably show is that while they are not making as much money as they used to, and while there could be future problems on the horizon, they are still doing far better than most American…

Port-a-John's had a casualty rate of 100% during the Battle of Little Brown Top.

After that beaning, Walter Matthau told him to do the same thing, but don't make it obvious.

+1001001

Worst commencement speech since Jay Mariotti delivered his address, "Don't Act So Goddamned Smart With Your Man" at Wellesley College.