It's funny that Justin Halpern blurbed Drew's novel because he pretty much validates everything in Drew's column today.

I think this is a Brer-Rabbit-esque ploy to get Luke Scott to throw a rump roast at her whenever she acts like an ass.

The championship could be the Glory Bowl.

This is even worse than Easterbrook's 5000-word essay on why the Red Rider BB Gun would make a fun and safe Christmas present.

He's more black than Stephen "spent some time growing up in lily white Toronto" Curry.

How many reporters would be left is newsrooms couldn't be filled with asshole alcoholics?

When asked if he was too white to play in the NBA, Fredette responded, "Poppycock!"

Kuselias denied the charges, saying he was just doing some night putting around the Golf Channel offices.

EA has a backup plan. When started, Madden 12 will automatically check to see if the NFL labor shortage has stopped. If not, the game will automatically switch over to a demo of EA's newest game, an interactive adventure based on "Heidi."

His license plate in that one says UZI4FOOD

When you boot that game up, you only see that picture with a "Loading" bar that makes no progress.

Manning needs to send Richardson a dong shot that says "here's your extension."

This is much more well-argued than Gregg Easterbrook's column on the subject, where he blamed it all on the Jews.

My guess for the identity of Mr. X: Brian Scalabrine.

I don't see what the problem is for the players. They have access to the latest styrofoam helmets and Snyder's Concussion Relief Tonic(tm) at the company store.

Drew thought college was going to be all cigarettes and alcohol.

While I wholeheartedly agree that this was terrible, I would like to remind everyone that, between 1980-86, Up With People played the Super Bowl halftime show three times.

I thought his asking me to bear his child meant he loved me.

@Broxtons_Buffet: Perhaps with a tweet that sums up all the math parts.

NFL seeding means everything to Travis Henry and Antonio Comartie.