Years later, he would lose that jersey after being mugged on the way home from his job at WacDonald's.

Grunting. Shit splattering into toilet.

@norbizness: When you're a crazy poor person in this country, you get to sleep in a parking lot. When you're a crazy rich person in this country, you get to gouge other people for parking in your lot, then sue them when they point out said gouging.

I would really like to see this event added to the Summer Olympics.

I could never have a vagina because I would hate to clean it. After all, I can't be bothered to move the coffee table six inches to vacuum up the archeological remnants of past meals.

@cromartie: Or most manly, depending on which definition you want to use.

@pj134: This weather blows.

Looks like Doylestown is in for another night of just the tip.

@norbizness: I didn't want to laugh at that because it would remind me how old I am. But well struck.

This also serves as a live-action interpretation of what happens in your digestive tract after eating at IHOP.

Should have had her sign The Love Contract.

So who knew his support had an expiration date or that "years to come" meant a little over 72 months?

@FavreFAIL: It's okay for him to act that way because he grew up poor. Everyone knows those people don't have manners.

This makes me wonder if Athletic Directors had similar amounts of say over hedge fund management, which would explain the economic crisis.

I SAID GOOD DAY!

There's nothing quite like absorbing Greg Koch's stream of consciousness.

Upon leaving the establishment, Cutler showed his toughness by diving down the flight of stairs rather than sliding down the bannister.

@norbizness: That list is like being reminded about a bad touch from a weird uncle.

@Hatey McLife: +666 for evilness.

@ToddReesingsTurfFacial: +1. Mike McCarthy could use that kind of creativity in his playcalling.