I voted no, but only because he's black.

If all it takes to get into the Deadspin HOF is to be washed up, drunk, and stupid, then I would like to submit my own nomination.

I think this should have ended with a Great Moment in Firm, Regular, Completely Unexceptional Bowel Movement History.

@norbizness: All the sportswriters / sound the same / don't they know / they're so damn lame!

I think Athlete Dong is the climax of everything Deadspin has been pushing toward. I vote yes.

@sharkmcduff: Not to mention that McEnroe's hair looks like Gertude Stein's vagina.

The best candidate right now would be John Lydon, because he understands the Cubs situation perfectly:

@UkraineNotWeak: As detailed in Paul's Second Letter to That Hot Piece of Thessalonian Tail.

@FavreFAIL: In their defense, your relationship would be detrimental to their marriages, not to mention their Congressional careers.

@A Duck With a Lisp: The Wonderpets Meet the Drunk Angry Dad.

@Phintastic: Agreed. I recently stayed at a hotel that had a big jacuzzi tub. First bath I'd taken in years and I was in their for 45 glorious minutes. If I had that in my house I'd get my magazines laminated or invent a waterproof iPad so I could read in the tub.

Most unsurprising winner of this since St. Paul in 37 AD

The most startling admission was that she had revenge sex with Ricky Vaughn.

Dear Full-Time Musician Guy,

@FarmRaised: +1 to Chief Punning Bear

I heard he had help from the Ross Halfin tucked under his cap.

The woman described Thomas as being business on the top and party on the bottom.

I was underage. Then, two years later, he broke up with his girlfriend. I broke up with my boyfriend.

Mariotti told police that he wasn't assaulting his girlfriend, but instead trying to illustrate to her the state of newspaper industry.

I think the proper response to Jason's e-mail of demands would have been "UNSUBSCRIBE"