@VTBen: My father told me my history degree would be worthless. Little did he know it would help me enjoy the historical hilarity of anonymous commenters on the Internet.

If Madden was realistic, Tremendous Johnson would be the 40-year-old starting QB for the Vikings.

@WhatWouldTebowDo?: Oh, For Fuck's Sake 2

"What the hell is Brett Fav-ruh doing here?"

I was backing out of a tight parking spot today

@bigredgambler: No, but the victims are always beaten Black 'N' Blue.

He's lucky that after being stung by a scorpion, he didn't have a blackout.

@UweBollocks: These days the uncool kids are playing hoops with the cool kids while he cool kids are coming to the shows of uncool kids. Call me old fashioned and maybe even kosher, but I liked it better when the music plate was separated from the meatheads. B-

The women were probably going through the list of things they would do before they would fuck Rob Dibble.

@MopUpReliever: I do admire the spunkiness of Deadspin's comeback.

@Bullet_Tooth_Tony: One might say Poynter and Deadspin are engaged in a serious sword fight.

The fighting stopped when Frank Drebin told Jane that the problems of two people in this topsy turvy world didn't amount to a hill of beans, but that this was their hill, and these were their beans.

I always oversauce.

He honed his craft as Shawn Kemp's personal bottle opener.

@Daniel Brock: Billy Mitchell has a video where he opens 205 in 75 seconds.

Bon Scott is also very underrated as a lyricist. He could be completely crude one moment and then write something like "Ride On" or "Up to My Neck in You" the next. Mark Kozelek did a great album of acoustic covers of Scott-era AC/DC albums, and its amazing how well the lyrics hold up even when played in…

@OchentaYcinco: My orgasms tend to feel the same, yet I keep coming back for more of them. Same with AC/DC.

@AngryChiefsFan: At least it doesn't make you feel sucidal the way playing "Fade to Black" alone does. Good thing those plastic guitars aren't sharp.

Strasburg went on the DL after a visit by The Ghost of Phenom Pitchers Past: Mark Prior with chains around his right arm.

He had planned to take this suit deep into the legal system, but his lawyer Quadry Ismail dropped the ball.